Evolving Expectations

When I started this blog I had intended to blaze a trail to a more self sufficient existence by documenting my progress as a gardener.  What I found was that while my intentions were good my concept of what this entailed was flawed.  It was, at least, poorly understood.

Foremost, I mistook how much time it takes to maintain a focused and well disciplined blog.  Doing so takes time, dedication and a discipline to stay on topic and remain relevant to those who might follow you.  At this point in my life with two children at home and a career to grow, time is just in short supply.  That’s a reality not an excuse.  Furthermore, because I have so many other interests about which I’m passionate I've found it difficult to write within the narrow focus the blog’s original intent demands.  Not feeling able to write about what I want to at any given time wasn't conducive to publishing.

Secondarily I mistook the impact it takes on ones time to advance your level of self sufficiency in regards to food production.  It’s one thing to prep the ground and plant some seeds and care for the garden during its youth.  It’s another to tend it in the heat of the summer, stay on top of weeds and insect infestations not to mention find the time to harvest, process and store your hard won bounty for use throughout the year.  This might come as a surprise but weeds and bugs don’t wait for Saturdays and oddly enough, crops ripen with total disregard to what you have on your otherwise overfilled schedule.  If the corn is ready to pick and process the weekend of the soccer tournament…well you get the picture.  Factor in inclement weather, emergency family situations, unexpected household repairs, a little down time with family and friends (whom you already make too little time for) and you begin to think the garden isn't contributing to your life the way you thought it would, at least relative to the amount of time it demands of you.

This isn't to say that the effort was without its rewards.  My garden is a healthy place.  A place where packed dirt has given way to fertile soil.  Regardless of my not finding the time to maximize its food providing potential, its home for honey bees, toads and little brown snakes.  This year it also drew in the indigenous Carolina praying mantis (Stagmomantis Carolina) a beneficial insect I've never before observed.  I've seen garden spiders grow fat in the waning summer sun and watched finches wrestle among the corn tassels.  I've delighted at blue birds feeding their young and the adornment of plant stakes by the iridescence of the dragonflies that perch atop them.  It’s a place I've made better through the sweat of my brow.  If the garden fails to feed my body in proportion to the effort it demands, it certainly nourishes my spirit in abundance.

Because of my experiences in the garden I've also gaining a HUGE appreciation of the hard work and dedication of the farmers that to bring food to our tables.  I must say that as good as increasing self-sufficiency sounds I've come to think that, from a societal perspective, “supporting” sustainable agriculture should probably be a higher priority than growing heirloom tomatoes.  I know, you’re thinking “blasphemy” right?

So where am I going with all this.  Well I’m not exactly sure.  The garden is here to stay but my expectations of it are evolving.  It will certainly continue to be a classroom, a chapel and a home to birds, bees, toads and the occasional snake.  It will continue to provide food for my plate but, perhaps not for my freezer.  For that I’m leaning towards surrendering some of my time and resources towards finding and supporting those farmers who share my values and are looking to create a more sustainable food system.  By helping to grow the economic incentives for these effort it’s my hope that more families than just mine might benefit.

As for the blog, well I intend to keep it going too (or start it going as the case may be) but topically, it’s not going to be as focused as was originally intended.  My original vision was that I was a citizen who gardened, an average Joe trying to improve his own circumstances.  What I've come to appreciate over the last couple of years is that gardening has informed my citizenship.  As important as self sufficiency is, my life is also richer for it's interconnections with others.  In the future I hope to post on topics that reflect this.